I think my cat is hazing my baby

We bought stair gates so Bug could crawl around downstairs without getting into trouble. Sometimes she likes to crawl over to her walker and play with the attached toys. No big deal. So when she was playing with it today I thought nothing of it. Her walker is in the dining room which stores the following:

• walker
• 2 strollers
• highchair
• cat box
• water dispenser
• couple of boxes yet to be unpacked..still!
• hurricane tote (it's staying there until December!)

So I let her be for a minute while she played with her walker toys, not really thinking too much of it. A minute later (probably less) I look to the walker and.....no baby. 'Interesting.' So I investigate further and see her sitting next to the bathroom door. 'hmmm.' Then I see the cat two feet away watching intently. 'what the hell?' Look back to the baby. 'Holy Shit' No pun intended. Have you figured it out yet? That's right! She was eating cat shit. My reaction?

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting.

So I called the doctor's office.

Me: Hi, my 9 month old just ate cat poop.

Nurse: She ate what?

Me: Cat poop.

Nurse: ?? What??

Me: CAT SHIT!

Nurse: Oh, you need to bring her in tonight.

So she made an appointment for us and told me to call poison control first and then call the nurse back to tell her what PC said.

Here's my conversation with Poison Control.

Me: Hi, my 9 month old just ate cat poop.

PC: She ate what?

Me: Cat shit. Feces. Dirty, nasty, feline ass-sausages.

PC: *calmly* How old is the poop?

Me: At most three days

PC: *disgusted* Litter boxes need to be changed once a day with a baby in the house. blah blah lecture lecture blah blah

Me: yes maam yadi yadi whatever TELL ME ABOUT MY FREAKING CHILD'S HEALTH!

PC: Are you sure she ate poop or could it be just litter?

Me: Well there was litter all over the floor and a shitload (yes I said it not realizing the pun) around her mouth. Plus there was a piece of poop on the floor with teeth marks soooo, yeah, she ate poop.

Basically she said to watch her for a week. If she vomits at all take her in along with a sample of the poop (bagged and sitting in front of me) so the doctor can test baby and poop and prescribe antibiotics. She also said that kitty litter can swell tremendously in the stomach and cause colon blockage which could be fatal. So I have to make sure her poops are normal and she's keeping things down.

Oh yeah, while talking to PC about this I was changing a poopy diaper. Can't escape poop!

So we're waiting and watching.

Meanwhile, the baby and the cat appear to be on much better terms. The cat would usually run when the baby talked to her, now she just sits there and they look at each other. Which brings me back to my point;

I think my cat is hazing my baby.

Hopefully this was a one time deal. I'd hate to see what 'Pledge Week' entails.